Has someone taken your faith?
It’s real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must
~ Best of You, Foo Fighters
Where do I start, how do I even begin to tell the story? The story of this past year, the past few years? How can I even attempt to chart the course of the mountains and valleys; in one go, it’s impossible. The logical thing to do would be to focus on each chapter, even though many of them bleed into one another. There are words that need to be written, that need to be released from my heart, and then my soul can be free.
Hope has been lost and found many times over. Walking through fire in this season, but with hope intact – for the most part. My spirit has not been broken this year, and I am not afraid to say that I am proud of my resilience. Other years broke me, crushed me down and I lost myself in the fog of depression. This year, though it will go down as one of the hardest years, didn’t break me. I am bruised, yes. Scarred. Slightly battered. But my heart, my heart is roaring.
A fire is raging. A fire I am not going to put out. No, I will let it flame and burn. The warmth is fuelling some of my dreams. These dreams feel precious, and my hope is that they will change the lives of others; the light from these dreams will change my life, too. They have been birthed over a number of years, grown and morphed until they began to sparkle with opportunity.
That is the key; opportunity. Oftentimes, we may think that opportunity is something we have little control over…yet, the opposite is true. We can create our own opportunities. It happens when we have a dream, when we join forces with others…and when we put those dreams out into the world with a plan. We can change the world – the wide world, and our smaller, personal worlds – when we work together to achieve something we believe in.
There have been many, many days and weeks this year that have scared me. Days when fear threatened to pull me down. Weeks and months of uncertainty. Somehow, we made it through. At this moment in time, I am in another period of uncertainty, but I have learnt my strength. I know that whatever happens, I will get through it; and I am unbelievably grateful for the beautiful souls in my life – friends, family, the boy, and the wonderful souls I have connected with via online communities. There are some truly amazing people in this world. We are never as alone as we think we are.
We all have a light within us, and perhaps one of our greatest tasks in life is to discover that light. Nurture it. Grow it. Then…send it out into the world. When we find and use our light, brilliant things happen.
Keep going. Find your best self. It was within you all this time.
I swear I’ll never give in
~ Best of You, Foo Fighters